long day tomorrow.

I have to head out of my house by 6am to get to a meeting in New Jersey. Yes, that means in about 4 hours. I wish I could sleep, but I can't. I'm going to try right after this brief post, but we'll see how that goes. I was basically sleeping from 2am last night until about 4pm today. I didn't get the surprise visit I was hoping for, but that's not exactly surprising.

Got to see Katie's apartment. It's very nice. I'm really happy for her. Joey and Anthony were also there after going to the auto show. I drove them home. Then, Joey decided to start acting like a complete asshole once we got home. I don't know what his deal is, but it's safe to say that I don't really feel like talking to him anymore. He was name calling and all kinds of other immature shit. I don't do that. Or I could tell him how much of a loser he is, doing dishes for shit money, living at home, no license, with a kid. But hey, whatever, I'm not gonna go saying that to his face. I can get it out on here because he doesn't read this. It's just absolutely ridiculous. The situation that happened makes it even more outlandish. Whatever, he can continue being a dick head, and living that semblance of a life. I wish him luck.

I just hate how I seem to be around people that like me some of the time. I used to have great friends, and a girl that loved me just as I loved her. Now, I don't even really have any prospects as far as making a life with somebody, and I don't really have any good friends. Usually, this would justify me being all shitty and sobbing on here. But today, I'm still in a wonderful mood! I can't let it get me down, there's just no point. Everything will work out.

Seeing Katie's apartment made me long for my own home. I'm basically a guest in my house as it is, so I want to find a place. I was hoping to be moving in with a girlfriend/significant other or something, and that's why I've been holding off. Unfortunately, nobody really wants to be my girlfriend right now, and I have no really good friends that I would want to live with. I guess I should try to find somebody... get out there and whatnot. It's beyond frustrating that with one simple turn of an event, I could be all settled, and happy, and everything would seem so much better. But, it hasn't happened yet, so there's no indication that it ever will, so I guess I'll just have to keep in motion. I've been standing still for awhile now, so now that I'm moving, I better keep moving.

I'm really not a bad person. I'm not extremely ugly, I don't smell too bad most of the time, I like to think I can be funny, and I'm wonderful to cuddle with and be around. I guess I just have to find somebody that wants that. And as for friends, I think this whole area is just not my speed. I feel terrible about myself that I haven't been able to make things work for me around here. Maybe I need a new spot, new people. Somebody is bound to love me back elsewhere in this country/world. And the majority of people I meet are pretty cool, so making friends shouldn't be hard (the people at my work are pretty cool, I guess they'll be my new group of friends).

Ugh, I try to hard for nothing. I just want love. Still. Just like every day. Where is it?