more general use.

I guess it's time for me to start using this blog for more general purposes, as opposed to a rant blog (although titled "The Rantings of a Mad Man"). This may prove difficult, as my normal day to day life is void of any publish worthy events. I mostly am either sitting at home, at work, or maybe on occasion, out.

Today I wasn't supposed to work, but I filled in for Chris. I didn't get in until about 2:00 PM. I went to breakfast with Evan at Tom Jones around 10:30, and then after that I decided it would be a wonderful idea to take a quick nap. An hour and a half later, I woke up frightened. I had no idea what time it was, I thought maybe I had missed the whole day. I had trouble waking up this morning, and this trouble continued as soon as I awoke from my nap.

Sold one phone at work today. Didn't really do all that much of anything. I bought a hat, and continued to read Booky Wook 2. I did see the girl of my dreams, but I don't have much to say about that. She's not exactly happy with me at the moment, but it's all for a good reason I suppose. I want a girl who doesn't quite want me back, and also I believe wants me to not want her. This is extremely complicated, as she's the only thing I want at all, every possibility included. We had a conversation about this as my outlet, but I'm going to steer away from that.

I only seem to talk about said topic, my loneliness and how I want her. Believe you me, I would LOVE to talk about anything else. But this is all that's on my mind, every morning, all day, every night. Sometimes I can't sleep because it's bothering me. Why am I not what she wants? But that's a question I may never know the answer to, so what's the point in wondering? I don't know, I see my rationale and hers at the same time, so I'm just most likely going to be updating this probably less frequently, as I'll try to only update when I actually have an update. Before, I was using this as just a whatever type deal. But it seems that that specific format is unfavorable, so I'm doing a good ol' switcheroo.

Work in about 6 hours, then work again the next day (including a training meeting in Bensalem). Then, finally off Thursday. I haven't had off since last Friday! I also believe that my license will be restored Wednesday, so I can start going out and getting into mischief with Tim or Tom or Chris. Whoever. I just need something to take my mind off of everything. I'm trying to get that peace of mind through activity rather than drugs. But drugs do a much better job, I will admit.

Ugh, another day lonely, but another day finally coming to an end so I don't have to live in it anymore. I hope my dreams will bring me something to be happy about. I had a dream last night that I had a girlfriend, and I was in love. It was the best dream I've had in a long time.

Peaceee