Why is it that I let things that should be trivial dictate my feelings? I really have to put an end to this. Today was a good day, so that's what's important. I felt great when I woke up, and up until now, I was having a decent day. It would have all been wonderful had I been able to get some sleep tonight. Instead, I've been kept awake, thinking.
I talked to Mary tonight for awhile. She had some insight, and tried to encourage me. She said she is in a similar situation, and that I should trust her or something, but none of it was comforting. Basically, it just seems like I'm shit out of luck as far as the one thing that I want, and I just gotta deal with it. So, that's basically what I'm going to do. I'm thinking that after all this, all this pain throughout the past year or so, I should finally be able to tough it out and move along. I owe myself that. I don't deserve to feel this way, it's not right.
So, work today should be fine, and then tomorrow night I'll probably go out with some people and get nice and shitty. Hopefully make an ass out of myself, maybe even wake up somewhere unfamiliar *crosses fingers*. I guess it's about time to start living, and stop standing still, waiting for somebody to love me. It's not going to happen, so I'm going to make things happen for myself.
I'm actually a bit pumped... I think things can change after all. There are beyond plenty of fish in the sea. I just had to get my fishing rod... ooo, that could totally be a sexual innuendo as well! AWESOME!
Okay, maybe I'm a bit loopy from lack of sleep. Apologies all around. Now, back to playing Angry Birds on my phone.
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